“Innalillahi wainnailaihi rajiuun..” Inilah kata-kata yang patut kita lafazkan tatkala mendengar berita buruk tentang sahabat atau saudara kita, sama ada beliau dilanda musibah sakit, ataupun meniggal dunia.

Janganlah disangka lafaz ini hanya untuk orang yang telah meniggal dunia, lantas cepat saja menuding jari, mengatakan “Hilmi tak berhati perut! Inginkan seseorang yang sakit itu meniggal dunia!”

Semoga, Hanisah Razali, bekas pelajar KMS batch tiga, kelas Actuarial Science selamat dan sejahtera. Moga dikurniakan kekuatan baginya. Apa yang berlaku padanya, saya tidaklah tahu detailsnya. Dari apa yang saya baca di blog-blog, dia mengalami kemalangan semasa melakukan latihan ski dan dihanta ke hospital.

Secara jujur, saya tidaklah begitu rapat dengannya. Tetapi tak kira apa, bukankah kami 75 orang bekas pelajar IB batch tiga KMS itu bersahabat?

Dear readers, tell me please. Which one is more important? Efforts or results?

In this world, it seems effort has no important role in our lives. It seems everything is owned by result. See people around you as example.

It is ‘useless’ (I put a bracket because it is arguable) if a student studies very hard, harder than anyone else. Yet his result is mediocre or lower compared to others. And another student who study less and get a lot better result will have all the glory in the world. He will be praised, given prizes, given scholarships and etc because of his RESULTS, not EFFORTS.

No this isn’t just about academic results. Even in working world, workers who have poor results will be angered by the boss even if he put a lot of effort in his work. A worker can get promotion if he shows good results, regardless of the effort he put whether it is a lot or close to none.

And, if there is two workers who have same good results, one puts a lot effort in it and another one does not, the one without troublesome effort will ‘win’ because he seems to have more potential in growth, as he can yield good results without a lot of efforts.

Yeah, one may argue that results are shown by effort. The more effort you put, the better result you will gain but this is not true in all situation. Most people, I believe has witnessed people with ‘talents’ that make them gain good results with low effort. And some people get good result by luck, but the good result won’t maintain though.

Should the world change to recognize efforts more that results? Then you will see in an advertisement, “Selling car, low performance but made with high efforts from highly dedicated workers”.

But, this does not mean people with good results do no efforts. It is just some people get it easier that others. It is like their efforts automatically multiplies, making much more than the rest.

Probably, results don’t really depends on efforts. Seems like there is something else than that which will give us good results.

Efforts can only be recognized by sympathy. Like a father who pities his child who tried hard in something but made poor result. “Pity him. He tried all his best, working non-stop for years. Yet, he still doesn’t get promoted due to his poor results.”

To be honest, I have been thinking of this thing for years, and came to various hypothetically conclusion. Why do I start to think of it? It is because I know someone, who gets good result in academic, yet his friends keep telling other people that what he does is only sleeping. (Please don’t think of anyone)

Imagine, you studied physics for a week and get 60% marks, but another person studied it in just a night and get 90% marks.

And sometimes, when I fail after I tried hard, I said to myself, “At least I put a lot of effort in it”. Yet I wasn’t satisfied and questioned myself “What’s the importance of effort when you fail?”

(These conclusions below are just hypothetical, means I do not know if it is true or false. They are just my assumptions.)

One of my hypothetically conclusion is that these people, who yield good results with less efforts actually just do not show their effort. Probably they hide their effort in front of other people but when there is no person around, they also do the efforts. Or maybe, their efforts are hardly visible. Like a worker who exercised every morning before going to work but get good result with normal effort in office.

Another possible conclusion is that they do effort in much profitable way. It is just like the term “don’t study hard but study smart”. They may even not notice that they are using a good mechanism to yield the results. The last possible conclusion I am gonna put here is that the results might be caused by long-term investment of the person which is hardly visible as to it now.

I do not know for sure what is the real answer, what is the actual “recipe” for great result.

So, where does effort stand?

-Muhammad Hilmi-

It is almost one month till the departure to NZ. And yeah, based on the title of the post, my feelings are mixed up.

It is a mixture of excitement and fear. Excited to discover new things, yet feared of the uncertain future.

I don’t know… I still believe in my feelings, that there is something coming… And I must get ready for it.

Days by days, things are worsening. There is no other way out except furthering my study in NZ. It is my only option if I wish goodness for myself. Till the day I fly, I must bear all these worsening state of myself.

I remember, long ago about one or two years back in KMS, I was very confident that I will fly. It’s like I know someday I will go to Auckland to further my study.

When Selset came and give us the admission forms of University of Auckland and Wellington, I didn’t fill in the Wellington as I was very sure about my own future, to go to UoA.

Yeah, in the end I was (almost) right. Mara doesn’t want to send any of us to Welly.

But now…

I don’t know whether I will be able to go there or not. Things are tough, maybe since the day IB result went out in which I felt very distressed. It teaches me that things may not be as we wished it to be, or what we thought it would be.

Even when buying my laptop and stuffs, there was a thought coming to my head, “Maybe I should not buy all these until it is guaranteed that I will fly. I don’t want to waste any of my parents’ money.”

Where hath thou been o my confidence?

2010

So, it’s another new year huh?

A friend of mine said this to me, “New year is nothing, it is just another day.” I agreed with him. But 2010 isn’t just another day or year to me. It is a year in which many big things will happen.

It will be an ending yet a new beginning. It will be a sunset yet a sunrise.

Things will be different from now on.

Happy new year to anyone who reads this. May Allah help to face any obstacles and challenges this new year.

The departure is coming in about two months. Not many things to be done now except filling the contract forms et cetera, shopping for clothes and stuffs, buying new laptop and getting ready to fly. But sometimes I wonder, what if I don’t fly? Am I destined to study abroad in oversea?

You see, since I was little, i had never dreamt of studying oversea. Somehow I planned to be just like any other person, studying in local university and working here and sorts of stuffs. As I grow up, it seems my path went to studying in oversea with scholarship.

It’s not that I don’t want to fly. It’s just sometimes, things are tough for example I went to the hospital four times for medical checkup while my friends went for one or two times only. I sent visa payment page to Selset three times while others sent it once only. It seems there is always be something to hinder me from flying in every steps i take.

Somehow, I feel like something big is going to happen… something isn’t good…

To be honest, I am ready for the worst case scenario, which is if something happen which won’t allow me to fly….

This is the video capturing my KMS friend who are now in Manipal University performing 1, 2, 3, 4 song.

Argghh!! It makes me wanna grab a keyboard (not computer keyboard) and do a performance too. Wonder when I’ll have the chance to do it. I hope I will buy a keyboard later in New Zealand to play with in my room.

Btw, notice that Chang is somehow different from before. :D

No it’s not me who upload it. Ask the cameraman of this video. :3

Wah wah~ Lama saya tak update blog ni. Ape yang saya buat? Takde la banyak sangat. Hanya berkenal-kenalan dengan ramai orang melalui games.

Ramai kawan-kawan saya sudah memulakan perjalanan mereka di luar negara. Pelajar jurusan Sains Aktuari telah melebarkan sayapnya pada bulan lepas. Pelajar Medic India pula esok. Saya?

Saya ini.. susah nak dikata. Bersayap atau tidak pun masih tak tahu. Ye la. Memang result cukup untuk terbang tapi… kelihatan berat badan saya masih lagi… emmm… kurang.

(Post pendek agar blog ini kelihatan baru :p)

The graduation will take place soon, in about few days. After that, all of us will walk on our own paths. Some will go to India. Some will go to Czech, New Zealand or US.

Do you realise that soon it will all end? Our relationship. Our ‘closeness’. Our connections.

Its like when we were in primary or secondary schools. When we start our new lives there in KMS, we simply started to ignore our friends from previous schools. The same thing will happen.

Probably we won’t forget our friendships, but the relationship won’t be the same. We won’t be as close as we were.

Yeah, you can say that some of you are still in contact with your friends from previous schools… but I doubt any of you will still be in contact with me (except those who are bound to NZ).

Well, I had a friend, a very dear friend. I was very close to him and sometimes, I even wrote his name in my English essays. We always met each other when we were in Jasin. ‘Playing’ together, climbing rambutan trees together and etc.

After we graduated and moved to our new different colleges, we were in touch at the beginning. But in the end… it is not the same. We started to ignore ourselves. Up till now, I don’t know what’s happening to our relationship.

Well, it didn’t happen to only one friend. The same thing happened over and over again, making me to create a group in my YM list called “May be deleted”

So, it is not a surprised for you not to contact me anymore after this. Because we will soon be disconnected.

Truth hurts doesn’t it?