The Growing Sprout

Wah wah~ Lama saya tak update blog ni. Ape yang saya buat? Takde la banyak sangat. Hanya berkenal-kenalan dengan ramai orang melalui games.

Ramai kawan-kawan saya sudah memulakan perjalanan mereka di luar negara. Pelajar jurusan Sains Aktuari telah melebarkan sayapnya pada bulan lepas. Pelajar Medic India pula esok. Saya?

Saya ini.. susah nak dikata. Bersayap atau tidak pun masih tak tahu. Ye la. Memang result cukup untuk terbang tapi… kelihatan berat badan saya masih lagi… emmm… kurang.

(Post pendek agar blog ini kelihatan baru :p)

The graduation will take place soon, in about few days. After that, all of us will walk on our own paths. Some will go to India. Some will go to Czech, New Zealand or US.

Do you realise that soon it will all end? Our relationship. Our ‘closeness’. Our connections.

Its like when we were in primary or secondary schools. When we start our new lives there in KMS, we simply started to ignore our friends from previous schools. The same thing will happen.

Probably we won’t forget our friendships, but the relationship won’t be the same. We won’t be as close as we were.

Yeah, you can say that some of you are still in contact with your friends from previous schools… but I doubt any of you will still be in contact with me (except those who are bound to NZ).

Well, I had a friend, a very dear friend. I was very close to him and sometimes, I even wrote his name in my English essays. We always met each other when we were in Jasin. ‘Playing’ together, climbing rambutan trees together and etc.

After we graduated and moved to our new different colleges, we were in touch at the beginning. But in the end… it is not the same. We started to ignore ourselves. Up till now, I don’t know what’s happening to our relationship.

Well, it didn’t happen to only one friend. The same thing happened over and over again, making me to create a group in my YM list called “May be deleted”

So, it is not a surprised for you not to contact me anymore after this. Because we will soon be disconnected.

Truth hurts doesn’t it?

Baca artikel ni dulu: http://muslimmatters.org/2009/07/10/marwa-sherbini-the-hijab-martyr/

Artikel itu mengenai seorang wanita yang syahid kerana mempertahankan pemakaian hijab di Jerman pada 1 Julai yang lalu.

Dan menunjukkan kepada kita bagaimana pandangan sesetengah masyarakat kepada umat Islam.

Siapa yang bersalah? Entah. Semuanya bersalah pada pendapat saya. Termasuk diri saya dan anda sendiri.

Benar, serangan mental Yahudi menerusi media-media dan filem-filem berjaya membuatkan orang lain membenci Islam.

Tiap kali saya mendengar berita tentang umat Islam ditindas, saya tertanya, apa boleh saya buat? Ya, berdoa. Itu sajakah?

Innalillhi wa innailaihi rajiuu’n

P/S: Wanita itu sudah menunjukkan pengorbanannya kepada Islam. Anda bila pula?

(Thanks too Wankhai for enlighten me about this news)

As-salaamun alaikum.

Yops… Sebenarnya saya takda benda nak tulih sangat. Saja nak mengupdate diri kat blog ni.

Dah lebih seminggu dapat result. Tapi tiap-tiap hari macam teringat je kat result tu. Rasa kecewa. Hampa. Kalau dulu, saya boleh mengingatkan diri saya, “Takpe, final masih ade lagi” tapi sekarang? Entahlah. Semoga masa dapat mengubatinya.

Minggu ini semua busy. AS dan Medic Czech akan ke HQ Mara. Medic India akan ke interview. Kami? Tindikan? Hanya menunggu masa, termenung sambil menternak lemak. Sangat bosan… (Dah la malas kerja dan amik lesen)

Semoga kawan-kawan yang akan di-interview itu berjaya.

Oh ya~ Saya teringin nak menjenguk KMS, nak jumpa cikgu-cikgu di sana. Tapi, takda teman plak. Dak Medic India akan gi KMS ari ni atau esok. Kalau kalian nak pegi, ajak la saya sekali.

Video ini diupload oleh Fatin dan secara tak sengaja saya terjumpa masa boring-boring, pastu search ib kms kat youtub:

Malam ini, ku sendiri,
tak ada yang, menemani,
seperti malam-malam,
yang sudah, sudah

Hati ini, selalu sepi,
tak ada yang, menghiasi,
seperti cinta ini,
yang s’lalu, pupus

[Chorus:]
Tuhan kirimkanlah aku,
kekasih yang, baik hati,
yang mencintai aku,
apa adanya

Mawar ini, semakin layu,
tak ada yang, memiliki,
seperti, aku ini,
semakin, pupus

[Chorus]

[English:]

Dont’know (Aiman)

My heart is all with so lonely
Nobody’s here is waiting for me.
Thought that love’s eternity
But it will be gone

Dear lord i beg on you again
Please send someone who’s good for me
Someone who’s really loving me
For what i am

Don’t know (Hazwan)

I don’t feel good… And ‘probably’ won’t be updating this blog for a few days or weeks.

Why? Don’t know… Due to the results I guess (not just the figures, but the whole incidents that happened to me and my friends). It makes me feel a strange feeling… The combination of melancholic, loneliness, emptiness, sad, down, depressed, etc, etc.

Sometimes, it feels like I don’t have any feelings. Like “let it go… and leave it” Apathy maybe… Got that?

It feels like I wanna go somewhere, a place where I belong. A place that exists yet I cannot go until the time comes.

I wonder…

Here are the official results:

Highlights

Firstly, I got 6 for Malay?! What the fish man? (gaya Gapen) Really really unexpected. Yeah, I wasn’t really good in it but still… Why 6? Sigh… Probably Pn Hasmah will be really upset with this result…

Got a 5 for Business and Management. Aiyo… 6 la… Cian Pn Rahimah… Musti keciwa… Well, I know that I also not very good (bad probably) in Biz but I expect it to be 6 or higher. Rase macam seorang noob pulak…

7 for Physics. Hohoho~ (I wonder who else got 7). Physics was tough, the toughest of them all (excluding Biz and Malay I suppose). No 7 has ever arised in the history of KMS. I (and some of my friends whom I don’t know who) are the first to achieve it. Yay~

7 for Maths. Haha… Great! Seronok la Cg Azian. Again, I and my friends are the first to achieve 7 in KMS. Previous batches failed to do it but we succeed. Alhamdulillah…

Got C for TOK. Darn… I was expecting an A or B. It was good ain’t it? But… I don’t know what to say…

Last but not least. An A in Extended Essay on Mathematics HL!!!~~ The first ever in KMS. EEs on Maths are well-known to be the not-so-good-grade as not so many got As compared to other subjects. Even some teachers said that EE on Mathematics are for those who like it, not those who seek additional points.

An A in EE~ I wonder why bcoz seriously, it was full of rapuan and very simple. Even our Maths exams are harder or complexer. Cikgu Hamimah pon gerenti pelik. Actually, I was expecting it to be… B or C. Not an A. But praises go to Allah, I got it. (With wonders of why)

Hence 3 records of KMS had been broken:

• 7 in Maths HL
• 7 in Physics HL
• A for Maths EE

Comments

I got 39+2. Am I happy. Guess what? No I’m not.

Hearing people saying things such as “Gile gempak ko~” or “Hang memang gempak” makes me feel uncomfortable. Why? Because I don’t deserve it.

Undoubtedly, 41 is quite high, for KMS. But try to compare it to other centres. 41? Bah~ Never good enough.

Besides, even in KMS, there are 3 students who got 43 points and another two who got 42. What about KMB? And any other students who achieved 45 points worldwide? Why am I being called gempak then? I am not.

Other students, most of them improved their results. Some who never got 35 got it. My roommate, who was once called and kene marrah (gaya Rose pulak) by the IBC because of getting lower than 30, got 37 points WITHOUT additional points from EE and TOK.

I on the other hand, didn’t improved my results. It gets worsen. Sem 1, sem 2, sem 3, trial - 40, 39, 38, 40. And now, 39. Sigh…

Am I better than them? Or worse? IMO, I’m worse. Or else, we are all the same.

Anyway, congratulations to all of you. Especially the 3 girls who got 43 - Dibah, Cassey and Syamin. Diyana and Rab (42). Plus Shahkang KMB (43). Other high achievers as well.

(Don’t get it wrong. I do bersyukur and redha with the results. It’s just… Don’t look to high on me because I guess we are all the same)

45 kg… Itulah berat (jisim) badan saya ketika Mega Project di Kampung Pilah Tengah tahun lepas. Betapa underweight nye saye…

Keding… Kurus… Mungkin lebih kurus dari Redza si Lalang. dan menyebabkan saya susah benor nak fly kerna perlu mempunyai BMI yang normal.

Tapi skang 49 kg dah… Dan macam takkan naik je… Huhu~

Ah! Post ini bukan mengenai itu!

45 points.. Itulah yang saya hajatkan. Kerna dengan itu, saya dapat memecahkan tiga rekod. Malah, saya telah bernazar jika mendapat keputusan itu.

Namun, nampaknya Allah lebih memahami apa yang saya perlukan.

Saya sentiasa mendapat apa yang saya perlukan. Sebagai contoh:

• 5A untuk masuk MRSM (dan saya langsung tak apply mane-mane sekolah lain)
• 8A untuk masuk MRSM Taiping, kemudian berpindah ke MRSM Jasin
• 9A1 untuk masuk KMS (saya tak apply mana-mana scholar lain)

Mengenai 45 points… Dapat dengan tak memang tiada bezanya dalam hidup saya. Saya tetap akan ke University of Auckland walaupun mendapat 35 points.

Mungkin apa yang saya hajati tak dicapai. Tapi saya redha dan bertawakkal kepada Allah atas apa yang berlaku dan akan berlaku. Kerana Dia lebih mengetahui apa yang saya perlukan.

(Bagaimana dengan result kamu pula?)

Apa yang anda fikirkan apabila berita kematian Michael Jackson sampai kepada pengetahuan anda?

Pada mulanya, saya fikirkan “Biarlah… Pedulik apa aku”. Yalah.. Mana tidaknya.. Seorang yang penuh dengan spekulasi… Dia mati. So?

Tapi, setelah saya mengetahui dia baru sahaja memeluk Islam (dan menukarkan namanya kepada ‘Mikaeel’) dalam satu atau dua tahun lalu, pandangan saya berubah.

Saudara baru saya baru sahaja meninggal dunia. Innalillahi wa innailaihi raji’un.

Dan kini, saya telah mula menceburkan diri dalam bidang mengedit-ngedit gamba.

Gambar ini telah diedit. Teka apa yang diubah. (Senang sangat nak teka.. Cess..)

Dan ini pula…

Pengakuan: Ari 1st BTN, saya telah terambil (ye la tu) dua biji kuih ijau yang macam cengkerang zharfan kura-kura tu. Then, tanpa disangka, rupanya ade yang tak dapat…. So, kepada sesiapa yang tak dapat, saya mintak dihalalkan, bley?

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Header blog ni da diubah. Cantik? Entah, cam ade tak kena je…